Connected

Playing with water out on the balcony Wednesday evening after asking, "Outside? Agua?"
Reading "The Story of Martin Luther King Jr," which Leeor got for him, of course.  
Avi eschewed his quesadilla for Aba's lasagna, and Aba was happy to fork it over. Literally.

Avi climbs each step, sticks his head through and offers besitos. I skid over to receive them!
In all his shirtless glory.  Too bad he won't wear the hat when it's freezing and foggy.

I am so proud of Avi these days.  It must be a little annoying.  I find myself wanting to brag about him and I try to stop myself, but who knows if I do?  We can't be objective about our children.  To Leeor and I, Avi is the most amazing kid ever.  And his grandparents concur.  As I marvel over his development, his individuation and evolution, I invariably reflect on earlier stages.

It's been almost a year since I went back to work, and I believe it was the right decision, though I struggle sometimes.  Because events are so seasonal, the external markings of the year remind me so much of specific events.  Last year at this time, when June gloom gave way to occasional bursts of sunshine, I was dreading my return to work.  

It has been quite a year.  When I got home this afternoon (I am so grateful to leave at 4! What a difference!), Avi was in shorts and a tshirt onesie with bare feet.  At nearly 5 pm, it was warmer than it had been this drizzly morning.  After M and her sister left, I tore off my tights, my boots already splayed on the floor like casualties from the work week.  Avi and I eagerly ate strawberries from the farm share bag I'd picked up on the way home. We giggled and I called a friend to meet us at Canyon Market for their Thursday night wine tasting.  Plus, I needed a few things besides produce.  

Leeor had just put together a new stroller the night before but Avi objected to my suggestion we test it out.  He actually said, "Ergo." I am not making it up.  So I bundled him in and we were on our way down the hill.  It was great.  I wore flip flops.  Everyone on the street was smiley.  It was nice to see a friend I hadn't seen in months and marvel at the changes in her beautiful daughter.  We had a glass of Cava for one dollar.  Avi filled our basket with expensive, fancy spaghetti, cappellini and linguine.  It was hilarious.  

I realized how much being at work helped me return to myself in a certain way.  It's not that there aren't days when I long for those languid days at home with Avi, that I don't sometimes begrudge M her days with my son.  But I think I would feel more fragmented, less whole, less myself if I hadn't gone back.  It helps that Avi seems to be doing so well.  Every Thursday night I feel thrilled to spend 3 whole days together, and tonight is no exception.