I'm trying new things.  Little things.  For example, tonight, after putting Avi to bed, after bathtime without Leeor because Monday night is "homework help" for the East Palo Alto kids (and Avi was none too pleased that his Aba was gone because Aba just came back from a quick LA trip this afternoon), after an exhausting, rainy Monday at work, I am choosing not to frantically, manically, anxiously clean up before I unwind.  I'm blogging instead, sitting cross-legged in the middle of our rug, looking out the window at the Bay Bridge, listening to the rain and also to Stevie Wonder, sipping a glass of Sauvignon Blanc in my pajamas.

I'm glad I tried this, because a minute after sitting here and surveying the toys and books strewn everywhere, it looks like a place where Avi and his buddy had lots of fun while stuck inside on a rainy day, instead of a crazy, messy place that stresses me out.  Perspective.  

I had a good day at work even though I was not quite ready for the go-go-go pace of the hospital instead of the chilled-out pace of 3 days off with my family.  It felt like spring, which delighted me.  My mom and Shara spent the night last night while Leeor was away.  It was great.  Shara is Leeor's best friend from high school, and her family owns some shoe stores in Carmel.  She knows her fashion. She helped me get dressed this morning and we opted for Mary Jane's instead of boots.  "Usher in the spring," she said.  And while in the morning I felt kinda miserable tromping back and forth across a busy street from hospital to my office and I longed for the boots, in the afternoon it was sunny.  Yes, sunny! And the breeze had some warmth in it.  It energized me. 

Leeor got Avi a couple of adorable t-shirts from a place in Los Feliz.  When I got home today, Avi was wearing a black one with "College" emblazoned in white on the front.  I'm sorry to sound ignorant, but I didn't know it's a "famous t-shirt," a replica of what the John Belushi character wore in Animal House.  But I love that Leeor got it and another fun, urban t-shirt for Avi.  They called me at work and talked to me through the speaker phone.  It was sweet but made my last hour super hard and I was completely un-focused.  

Now that Avi is one, I am realizing how much of myself I would like to re-explore, re-claim, re-discover, and not necessarily in that order.  It feels natural that I feel this way right now.  I am taking stock of what feels important to me right now.  While my family remains my first priority (like I even need to say that, right?), I am interested in these other parts of myself that have always existed but that haven't gotten much attention lately.  Here goes . . .