Two kids

I have a lot to say and not a single organized thought or throughline, except that I just love my kids.

Avi often asks me to hold him while I am holding Lilit, usually as we are heading upstairs in the morning. I oblige and then feel like such a Mama as I carefully make my way to our living room. "My two kids!" I exclaim so often that now Avi says it too. He is such a mimic. It makes me realize how often I use the phrase, "kinda like" when I hear him repeat it all the time to describe something.

A few random thoughts and experiences we've been having:

This morning the 3 of us went into the village. Avi was in the stroller or walking while Lilit slept in the ergo, swaddled and strapped diagonally across my body. The girl loves her pacifier (Avi never ever did but now has developed a keen interest in it, of course) and was snoozing and sucking away contentedly while Avi asked for the requisite bakery stop, then to look for the cat named Emma in the pet food store, followed by petting of actual cats owned by a guy who is harmless and friendly and has a million cats, followed by a quick stop to the market for wipes (oh, do we ever go through them wiping two babies! Also, Avi scored a snack bar; the kid is a serious grazer like his mama) and rounded out by a trip to the bookstore, where the owner is so friendly and knows us and chats Avi up as if Avi were a teenager. I love our neighborhood.

Yesterday, Lilit turned 3 weeks old. I am already nostalgic and saddened at the seemingly quick passage of time. She is such a dream of a baby. For the past two nights she has slept 6-7 hours in a row. But that's not what I love about her, though it helps. . .she has a depth to her, a soulfulness that many people comment on when they meet her. We visited my good friend in San Rafael, who has a daughter Avi's age and another one week older than Lilit. Another friend was there with her newborn, born on the same day as my girl. We had a lovely time.

Lilit and I have already had our first Girls' Night Out, too, when we went to a friend's 40th birthday party in Oakland. My mom was in town to help me out because Leeor was at Auntie Maital's graduation (a shout out to her--she is so amazing that she completed a Ph.D in neuroscience in less than 4 years. Wow!) so she stayed with Avi while my girl hit the town with me. There was good food and friends and a beautiful night spent listening to live music in their enchanted backyard; Lilit and I so enjoyed ourselves that we didn't get home until 1:00 AM!

Avi has been adjusting pretty well. We made a trip for painting supplies the other day and then spent the afternoon alternately painting, drinking tea and playing with toys while "his baby" napped. There are these incredibly blissful moments with the two of them, or with one of them while the other sleeps, when I feel grounded and settled.

There are other moments, too, of a screaming toddler or a crying infant while my hands are busy with the other child and I feel overwhelmed and spent. Leeor is working a lot right now; we are proud of him but sometimes I get frazzled around bath and bedtime when it's been just me all day. Then he takes Avi for an outing, or snuggles with Lilit so Avi and I can have some quiet time, and everything feels righted. Mostly, Leeor and I marvel at how good it feels to have two kids.

This is such a short window of time in our lives, and it feels so precious as well as fleeting. Every moment can't possibly be savored but I am trying to stay as present as possible through them all. What else could I possibly be doing at this moment other than enjoying my two kids?