Good stuff

We are celebrating Leeor's birthday this weekend. Saba and Safta are around and stayed with Avi last night while we had a lovely time on the town with Mollie and Andrew. It was so nice to eat and hang out and chat. We laughed a lot.

This morning, Avi dipped his toes into the hotel pool where Saba and Safta are staying. I got to sleep in and go to yoga, which was awesome. The class was incredibly crowded and led by my favorite teacher. I was reminded of the classes I used to take in NYC, when I first began to practice yoga 12 (!) years ago. My 22 year old body easily moved through each pose and I began to develop a deeper understanding of what the practice was about for me, but it was only the beginning. Then, I was smoking cigarettes (eww!) and not very healthy. I didn't know who I was or what I wanted to do with my life. I often felt lost. But when I practiced yoga, I began to feel grounded and was able to catch a glimpse of my true self.

Now here I am, the only pregnant woman in a class filled with the lithe bodies who live in the Mission district. I love the energy of a crowded class. Even the floor sweats. It smelled funky and the room was, as Leeor likes to say, hotter than a crotch. And it amazes me that I get so much out of 90 minutes spent in that space, following the voice of my teacher, bending my 34 year old, almost 35 week pregnant self in and out of poses. Breathing deeply. Connecting with myself and with this baby girl inside.

I feel like I need to grab these moments of optimism and hope, of good stuff, and write them down so I can remember them. I came home from class to a very cranky, snotty-nosed Avi. He has a little cold and he was incredibly tired. But I didn't care. I just wanted to help him go to sleep and didn't feel one bit unglued when he threw himself down on his bedroom floor because of a snack bar incident gone wrong. I felt calm and steady.

Now he's asleep, Leeor, Saba and Safta are at the movies, and I am supposed to be studying for my exam. But I just had to talk about the good stuff for a change. It was so wonderful to connect with my unborn daughter while I practiced yoga this morning. I imagined my belly as a cozy sling in which she swims and sleeps her current existence. Very soon, I will push her out of my body and into our external lives. I have incredibly vivid images of what her birth will be like. In these moments, I feel strong and capable. She just started moving around as I am typing this last paragraph. She is a like a shining light inside of me--even Avi told me that "there is light in there," as he pointed to my belly. I trust he knows what he's talking about. Whatever you call it--prana, energy, life-force, chi--I am feeling it, and it's good.