Birthdays

34 years old today.

Leeor took Avi on a downtown adventure to meet our friends, who arrived in town last night (after Avi talked all day about Baby Clara).  And I had about 5 minutes of birthday blues where I felt a little lost without my guys.  Then I was like why am I being crazy?  I have the place to MYSELF! So I sat myself down for a few quiet moments of meditation as the sun started streaming in through the windows.  It's a beautiful fall San Francisco day outside.  My favorite kind of day.  I realized I could play whatever music I wanted.  Haven't listened to this old Beth Orton in awhile--it's so good! Off to walk though my beloved canyon and maybe pick up a latte along the way.  Our friends want to treat me to a spa afternoon, which will be lovely, but really, I could also just hang out with the kids and cruise Golden Gate park.  We'll see how it goes.  

Birthdays are so different now. So far my favorite moment this morning was Leeor and Avi singing to me and Avi saying "Happy birthday ba-ba." He was so excited to go get on the BART train with Leeor. And go see Baby Clara at the hotel.  As for me, it's just a treat to have a little quiet time, especially since I have been unable to return to sleep in the wee hours these days.  Avi was up at 4 this morning with a nightmare, and while he easily returned to slumber, it was not the case for me.  My mind was full.  My belly buzzed with feeling.  34 years old and I will become a mother of two this year.  Wow.  I lay in bed feeling so blessed and grateful for Leeor, for Avi, for this still developing little life inside of me.  That is enough of a gift for me.