Reaching Out

As Avi approaches 7 weeks, I feel us both changing. There seems to be so much evolution for him right now--neurologically, emotionally, physically. For me, too, there is evolution. Though the state deems women "healed" from childbirth at 6 weeks out, I feel sensitive and vulnerable, soft in my body, mind, spirit.

Thank goodness for support. I have fellow mom friends to call, loving family, a great husband--a therapist as well. But I feel I need a bit more, so I'm going to reach out further and go to an informal meeting of neighborhood moms tomorrow (though I feel anxious about it!). The truth is that sometimes I need company beyond my darling baby during the day, and I've gone way over my cell phone minutes. We went for our walk this morning, but we have no other plans. I'm sure we'll pounce on Leeor when he gets home, but he probably has more work to do.

As Avi grows and changes, I want to hang out with other women who are in the same boat and talk about the shifting stages--for example, Avi was fussier than ever today, and it was so perplexing. All I could do was hang in there with him--which has meant that my whole afternoon consisted of holding. shhhh-ing, nursing, swaying, and finally changing a long-awaited poop-filled diaper (he didn't poop at all yesterday). However, he slept 5 hours last night, which was so lovely.

He's reaching out more, too, smiling, cooing, saying "ah-gooo!" He saw himself in the mirror today and reached toward his reflection. And when I sang to him from my showtune repetoire, he snuggled into my shoulder and fell asleep. And I'm getting good at one-handed typing . . .