She's 5! And we went on our first family retreat

 The day of Lilit's birthday party was icy cold. It was Memorial Day weekend but we were piling on layers like it was winter. Or the beginning of summer in the Bay Area.

 The party hats were a big hit.

 So were the cupcakes.

 Lately I have been marveling at these three. They have sweet relationships all around and also intense moments of conflict. They attend to each other and rile each other up. Just as siblings do. I hope they maintain the closeness they have but I also know how different they are.

 The two little ones have a special bond. And Lilit with her two besties from her class were too cute to behold.

 I told the kids they could decorate the cupcakes themselves and couldn't believe the restraint they demonstrated. A sweet smattering of sprinkles and that was it. And Lilit was so happy.

 When her actual birthday rolled around a few days later, we asked Lilit where she wanted to eat dinner and she promptly responded, "Panera!" Off we went for a lovely meal before returning home for cake.

 She loves her brothers so much. Even if she might be tempted to trade them in for a sister.

 Yossi loves his sister. And loves to pull her hair. And take Leeor's phone.

 And accidentally order a ride on Uber.

 These three.

 Lilit was the most excited to hear her classmates and teachers chant, "She's not one anymore, she's not 2 anymore, she's not 3 anymore, she's not 4 anymore, she's ... 5!!"

 And then we packed up the car and headed up to Camp Newman for our synagogue's retreat. I was resistant to the idea initially, worried about lack of sleep but intrigued by a weekend away with friends in a beautiful setting.

 I felt at ease immediately, as upon our arrival, the children promptly stripped down and headed to the pool.

 After a proper snack attack.

 I especially enjoyed the name tags on the littles.

 We had a mostly relaxing weekend. As relaxing as life with 3 young children can be. There was childcare for Yossi while I taught yoga and dance. We logged a lot of pool time.

 I'm in this new place with parenting. Slightly less neurotic. Like, I barely saw Avi all weekend, but I knew he was okay. And he was. We joked about how he went to bed later than I did Saturday night.

 The weekend was good for the whole family.

 Yossi loved all the attention he received from the senior members of the congregation.

 Lilit had a few bouts of big feelings. Nothing that a little chat with her Aba couldn't help.

 Of course there were smores.

 It feels good to be part of a community so filled with love and support. It's grounding.

 I had lunch in the "Moon house" with Lilit and Yossi before we left. Somehow Yos never got out of his pjs on Sunday and then on the way home, his diaper ended up around his ankle and his body was drenched in pee. But he still managed to sleep the whole way.

 I never could have imagined this life. But that is probably best, as the reality surpasses any fantasy I ever harbored about the future and what kind of family I might have. It's beyond good. Not perfect. Better than that. Complicated, messy, hard, satisfying and completely awesome and fulfilling.