Honeymoon

Tonight's story is once again about finding a balance between working and parenting. I love 18 months old with Avi.  It's my favorite stage so far.  After looking at photos of his early days, as Leeor and I did last night, however, I definitely feel wistful.  

Yesterday we heard Madame Speaker herself, Nancy Pelosi, talk about healthcare at Homeless Prenatal Project in the Mission.  Leeor signed us up to go; our friend organized it and he and I have different relationships to the program but that is another story.   There we were, listening to this powerful female while a woman next to me balanced a baby on her chest.  I am pretty sure she was the Mayor's wife.  She was so beautiful and I am so starstruck.  The baby, at 11 weeks, was a dreamboat.  I arrived home energized by the event even though I'd been missing Avi.  It occurred to me that I'd had a pretty good day, for a Monday.  

Avi was happy to see me but also tired.  He had napped for ninety minutes instead of his usual 2-3 hours.  I wondered if he was still feeling the 3 shots he got at the pediatrician's office on Friday.  

It had been a really good weekend together for the 3 of us.  After Leeor and I discussed what a good idea it might be, I got Avi a baby doll Sunday morning at Target.  He loves his new baby.  I feel like it was one of those rare, inspired moments in parenting. Avi and his baby are now really tight.  A friend suggested I get him a sling and I wonder if I could make something simple out of fabric so he can strap her in and go.  It's incredibly cute.  He's such a lover.  We change her diaper and he lovingly feeds her.  

More about the weekend with Avi; after his doctor visit Friday afternoon, Leeor had an inspired idea.  We made our way to the Presidio Bowling Lanes, convinced it would be a fun time for the bear and for us.  We were sort of right.  Avi was not at all into the bowling lanes.  Instead, he wanted to play "beep beep" in the arcade, sitting in a faux car and "playing" the Fast and the Furious game.  Leeor bowled alone for a bit while I marvelled at Avi pretending to drive. I fretted about all the visual stimulation.  If TV is "bad" for kids, then what about video games?  He went to bed really early that night.

It was so nice to have 3 days off with my family after I had worked the previous weekend and Leeor and Avi went to Monterey to see Saba and Safta.  We got into a nice groove.  Saturday afternoon, after Leeor and Avi had spent the morning at Home Depot buying me sanding stuff to refinish this antique desk I picked up for free on the street and stopped for pastries on the way home; after Avi took a 3 hour nap during which I made two batches of enchiladas; we went to a party in San Rafael.  All the social workers and their partners and children were there.  It was nuts and it was fun.  Avi is still talking about the party and his "friends." 

That night, I got to see Joe Goode's amazing new installation piece at the old Mint building.  He promised to bring it back because it completely sold out.  It was an inspiration and I love when art is political and relevant and still really entertaining.  The dancers were so good!!  And thank goodness Nicole got there in time to score the last two "wait list" tickets and we got in.  

On a related note, Avi and I have been watching this episode of Sesame Street that features dancers from the NY City Ballet.  He loves the word ballet.  Pointing to the dancers, he says, "Mommy. Aba.  Ballet." He does a lot of interesting dance moves, himself.  

He loves playdough, loves art, especially coloring, glitter, glue and stickers.  When he goes to kiss other kids, he holds them gently by the shoulders and leans in, ever the lover.  This time with him feels especially precious. One of my oldest friends, Gwen, a mother of 3 herself, dubbed it the honeymoon period, because it's this sweet time before toddlers turn 2 when they remain the only beloved child of doting parents.  

The working mom thing is tough.  On Monday afternoon, Avi called me Na-na and then quickly corrected himself and said, "Mommy." It's a tricky thing to have my son so attached to his caregiver, and it's also a good thing.  Of course it doesn't take away from our connection, but still . . . I get this wistful feeling sometimes, like today when I walked home from the bus and arrived home to a quiet house.  M and the kids were still at the park.  I realized how much I count on that moment when I walk in the door after work and Avi greets me with such enthusiasm and love, that it fills me in a way that my day job never will, no matter how satisfying it is sometimes.  

Avi has also taken to calling me honey.  Leeor and I use this particular endearment a lot, in many tones, I am sure, but mostly in a loving tone.  M said that Avi called her honey today, too.  Safta had a funny story from last weekend, when they were looking at pictures of Avi and me on the computer.  "Who is that?" they would ask.  "Avi." he would reply.  "And who else?" they asked.  "Honey," he replied with certainty.  

We made reservations for our anniversary, and we are taking our honey, our little bear, with us to Mendocino for what I'm sure will be a lovely October weekend together.  May this honeymoon period last and last and last . . .