Tis the Season

We have many reasons to celebrate this holiday season. In all honesty, the holidays feel a little stressful to me because we are trying to find balance while honoring our respective cultures and family traditions. Coming home from New York (where Christmas decorations were everywhere and we enjoyed every bit of them), I felt some anxiety. But. We are doing our best to be flexible and open-minded, which I truly appreciate. These pictures are from Auntie Maital's visit last week; even though it was technically not yet Hanukah, Avi received lovely gifts to open and we lit candles together.

We are constantly revising what it means to celebrate holidays in our family of 3. It is not always easy. As a member of the dominant, Christmas-celebrating culture, I didn't really think about what it would be like to not celebrate Christmas until Leeor and I started dating. I actually told him (a few months into our relationship) that we had to break up because of Christmas. He disagreed, and he was right. Last year, I appeared on a local news television show (my massive belly barely fitting behind the desk) with the director of the interfaith program at the Jewish Community Center of San Francisco to discuss these issues. There isn't a one-size-fits-all solution for anyone. Leeor and I agree that it's important to keep talking about it.

Celebration is everywhere. Leeor and Avi came to my social work party with me on Friday night--they were both quite a hit. We went to a fun party at Shara and Tyler's in Carmel, and Avi stayed home with Saba and Safta and began his musical training. Seriously, he was so into the piano! Look at his face!

And we continue to light Hanukah candles together, even though I don't know all the words to the prayers or the song. My mom is coming Christmas Eve and the 4 of us are going out to a nice dinner together at a neighborhood restaurant. Christmas day I hope to go to yoga, and then I'm certain we'll go for dim sum.

Food is what we have in common when it comes to celebrating the holidays, and I'm grateful for that. Especially, good food, whether Safta prepares it or we go out to one of our favorite restaurants.

There's less pressure this year, too, as we have decided to abstain from gift-giving. My mom and I were talking about this, as she also decided not to get a tree (we have previously had Christmas at her house, but because we are mixing it up this year, she decided to do less). She was saying that she feels a sense of relief to not shop; I do, too. Which doesn't mean we aren't festive. One of the traditions she and I have is to make cookies. I haven't done any baking yet. But tomorrow we will bake and decorate cookies.

Part of me feels a sense of longing when Avi and I walk around our neighborhood as night falls and we pass houses with decorated trees in the window. I still feel unclear about whether I want a tree in our home. Part of me wants to make our own traditions and hopes we can incorporate aspects of the holidays that are most precious to us. Besides food, we agree that being with family is most important.