October

 The kids are into hats.  I have a hat box that I occasionally pull off my closet shelf and let them have at it.  These two happen to be from their own supply.  Avi's room has been a total mess for awhile but it only seems to bother me so whatevs.  He's happy and plays on his own in there for good stretches of time . . . Lilit, on the other hand, is afraid of his dragons and needs an escort when entering the lair, as it were.  Avi appears to be okay with this arrangement.

 Last weekend was full; it was my 15 year college reunion and my dear friend, Michelle, was in town from Portland for the occasion.  We had a grand reconnection and then I sent her off for a night on the peninsula while I stayed home to be with my littles.  I'd been away too long to head out again.  Sunday morning, we bid goodbye to auntie Michelle, with whom the kids had become mildly obsessed (she was gracious about their need for her attention, to be sure, as her two boys camped out with her hubs in Oregon) and headed to Sacramento, to the mall, to be specific, to see my mom while she worked a shift at Macy's.  Leeor needed suits and her assistance.

 The kids don't mall hop very often.  There was a carousel.  Leeor tried to explain to Avi that his chosen animal did not move up and down but Avi insisted upon the giraffe.  Then afterward, Avi confessed that perhaps he should take another spin, this time on an animal that moved.  I gently explained that Aba had tried to encourage that but also that it was okay Avi learned on his own what he wanted, and that next time he could choose another animal.  God forbid.  The mall is a crazy, crazy place, and I don't intend on returning anytime soon.

 Our grounded girl merely took it all in and only requested peanut M&Ms from the candy machine.  Grandma was happy to oblige.

 I have been feeling Avi's separation lately.  It's a good, healthy thing.  He'll ask for me for whatever thing and then catch himself and correct, "Actually, I don't need you, mama.  I can do it." I try to stay loose and just go with it but man, I love my connection with my firstborn.  But he's a boy and he seems to need his dad more and more these days.  They are reading The Phantom Toll Booth nightly (I never read it! shocking, right?) and then I am called in to "help Avi sleep."

 But back to our mall day.  There was this horrendous play area, a germ factory filled with screaming, pushing children and dazed parents.  The four of us experienced shock and awe.  Correction; Avi, Leeor and I were deeply impacted by the madness while Lilit remained impassive and mildly obsesssed with what she called "the two Bambis."  I realize I've used the word obsessed now 3 times in one post.

 We stopped for snacks and I indulged them in a cake pop each to try to keep them awake on the ride back to Berkeley.  Lilit dropped most of hers on the car floor but didn't seem to mind.

 We talked a lot about the colors of the sunset after Avi calmed from a massive meltdown.  We realize what a sensitive kid we have on our hands--all those screaming, pushing kids at the mall seemed to take a toll on our firstborn.  Maybe it was also a low blood sugar thing, but Avi spent a good amount of time wailing after we pulled out of the Arden Fair parking lot.  By the time we drove through Davis, he was able to gasp through his sobs, "I'm hungry!"  So we stopped for cukes, watermelon, bagels and Pirate's Booty.  And cake pops.

 Then we got back into our week and it was my birthday.  The kids wanted to bake and decorate a cake for me (after we went to dinner and a concert in the city the night before) and I can't describe how meaningful it felt to me!

 The cake was actually really, really good.  And these 3 were even sweeter.

 Avi was very concerned about Lilit's perch on the table.  I was, too, but with this girl there is not much negotiation.

 We also had bubbly pink wine and a lovely meal pepared by Leeor; I felt loved and celebrated. Plus the concert we went to as guests of a work colleague the previous night was so inspiring!  I truly appreciate a good theatrical experience!  Avi is in for his first later this fall as I asked if he wanted to see The Lion King in the city . . . he is totally down.  I can't wait!

Now Leeor is getting ready to leave for a week long business trip and I am just barely freaking out, but only because I have to work on Sunday.  Our nanny is going to her brother's wedding at the end of the week so I am taking Thursday and Friday off  . . .I have no delusions of domestic bliss, but I feel okay about it all.  Maybe it's the wisdom of turning 37 (is that even possible??), maybe it's the yoga I now teach weekly, maybe it's an overall satisfaction with life--who knows, maybe it's my favorite season working its magic on me, but I feel darn fine.