Hope, light and love

Avi was so thrilled to see Saba and Safta tonight.  We celebrated the first night of Hanukah together, and Avi was introduced to the ritual of eating chocolate coins.  I couldn't believe how quickly he devoured two of them, and I, ever the fanatic about too-much-sugar, quickly explained (as his eager hand reached for a third) that we had 8 nights to go and needed to make the chocolate last. . .who knew that parenting could make me so quick on my feet when it comes to outsmarting smarty toddlers?  Leeor even said it was a good metaphor for the oil lasting for 8 nights.  We were really on our game tonight.
Avi doesn't quite have the hang of Hanukah; he really wanted to blow out the candles and we had to explain it was no one's birthday tonight . . .by next Friday, he'll be a pro, I'm certain.
When did he become such a ham? 
Even though we are big on "no TV en la noche," as we say it, Leeor decided Avi needed to watch a few minutes of Ferris Bueller's Day Off the other night.  Sigh.  What could I do but take their picture? 
Avi likes to point out all of his body parts, and yours, too.  Today he was talking about nipples and I asked whether I had them, too.  He replied, "No Mommy, you have bagina.  And I have penis." In case I was confused.
Last weekend we went to Sacramento to celebrate my mom's birthday.  We stopped in Davis to see Uncle Itay (though Avi refers to him and Jen as "Auntie Itay and Jen").  Always a fan of sweets, Avi scored a cookie, and then had so much fun at Grandma's house, where he discovered all of my old ornaments while we helped her trim her Christmas tree.  The holidays are pretty open to interpretation for Avi at this point, so he delighted in taking ornaments off of the tree and asking us to remove the cumbersome hooks that interfered with his play.  His favorites were my brother's old wooden airplane ornaments, a San Francisco cable car (of course!), and my old Miss Piggy-in-ballet-slippers.  The night got even better when he discovered Grandma's wooden box of old necklaces, earrings and rings.  Even I love going through all those satin-lined drawers.  

It's Friday night and past my bedtime.  Leeor is out at the movies and I just finished watching some PBS special about the nutcracker.  Avi is asleep after a fun evening with Saba and Safta.  Tomorrow, Maital, Chris, Itay and Jen will join us and we get to celebrate nights 2 and 3 of Hanukah together.

It's still a new-ish holiday for me, but I really like it.  Leeor couldn't even tell me the whole story about it when I asked last week, so we turned to Wikipedia for a thorough explanation. It was a little too thorough.  For us, it's not really about the Macabees, or anything all that religious.  This time of year, no matter what we celebrate, is about being with family and feeling gratitude for so much.  I love all the trimmings that go with my rich interfaith life; Hanukah brings beautiful candle-lighting ritual, prayer, and a good excuse to eat fried food and exchange gifts with people I love but don't get to spend enough time with.  And Christmas feels like more of the same, lights, food, celebration, Mahalia belting out all my favorite carols with gusto.  Even Leeor likes her take on Christmas songs.  It's not about religion for me, or even gifts, though I had a lot of fun wrapping presents in some awesome Hanukah paper I found at Costco.  

Last year I felt a little holiday angst, but this year I feel more integrated.  It was nice to breathe the scent of a Christmas tree at my mom's last week, to hang familiar ornaments, to watch Avi squeal with delight at the ritual.  He was just as delighted with the first night of Hanukah.  I am glad our children will have the unique opportunity to partake in whatever they choose as they grow.

I can't imagine any other way.  I chose to raise my children in a "Jewish home," even though I wasn't raised in one. We are still defining what that means for us.  For me, it's important that we recognize and celebrate difference.  Leeor and I won't be able to relate much to our children's upbringing.  They will come of age in a different home from what either of us knew.  I think that kind of evolution is a good thing, and I also know that's partly why we chose to spend our lives together.  We value and honor each other's uniqueness, culture and traditions.  

A few years ago, we were at our friends' parents house for a holiday dinner.  Our hosts had met in college (which happened to be the same Jesuit school I attended) and they casually remarked about how lucky they thought we were.  "We're so boring and the same!" they jested (they are the opposite of boring, nor do they seem to be clones), and I remember feeling surprised at their sentiment.  But I get what they meant.  Leeor and I, and our children, are very blessed to blend a variety of traditions that are meaningful to us, and to keep discovering ways to celebrate together.  

I couldn't get it together to send a holiday card this year, but I love receiving them from family and friends.  This post feels like a long holiday missive, so here's wishing all our loved ones much hope, light and love, not just this holiday season, but for the new year to come.  It's going to be a good one.