Schoolboy

The school director emailed this one with a note about his first day: Avi made a quick recovery after drop off time and was very serious about exploring many parts of the classroom. Right away we knew that he loves dress up! (After this picture he got the red high heels on to match his red scarf--very fashionable).
We are clearly into high fashion around here.
It was the kipa or the "dreidel hat" as Avi calls it. He chose the latter.
Simon is both thrilled and dismayed that Avi is heading off to school. Avi is giving me his "first day of school face."
Our sweet boy. His last words before slumber were, "Tomorrow is my first day of school!" and his first words in the dark hours of early morning, after a tearful recounting of how his waves made "a loud noise!" were, "I'm going to school today!"

He hardly ate breakfast and assured me he would be okay until snack time (while I fretted about how many hours there would be until his next caloric intake). He gamely settled into the bike seat and offered Lilit a lengthy explanation of where he would be, reassuring her that ultimately, he would return (she was more interested in watching Simon through the window).

And when I came to pick him up, he was deeply into his repeated jump off the play structure onto a soft blue gymnastic mat, chaperoned by his uber-cute teacher with the funky clothes and dangling dolphin earrings (oh, to be a preschool teacher in Berkeley!).

In the bath tonight, he re-created much of his internal world via various small animals. I mostly tried to stay out of it because my questions were received with exasperated, somewhat terse, explanations, "Mommy, the dinosaur is a teacher and a kid on the first day of school," or my favorite, "No Mommy, the kids told the dinosaur teacher that he was a poo-poo face; he is never going back to that school." Lilit and I tried to stay loose and ride the wave; poor dear had 3 shots today at the pediatricians office--more on her wonderful-ness later; this post is for Avi.

He mentioned to me late in the afternoon, while we were driving back from the city, where we had combined Lilit's doctor appointment with a playdate with his bff, "Mommy, I'm going to cry again at school tomorrow."

"Okay," I said, ever the social worker/mother, "crying is okay."

Earlier today I wondered what had helped him to feel better when he had cried during drop off, when he had wanted us to be with him in that moment, "Well, I saw so many fun things to play with--it made me feel better," he stated matter-of-factly.

Tonight I will pack his lunch, thank god no kids in his class have peanut allergies. There is a chart on the fridge, made by yours truly with colored pencil, that outlines each day of the week as it pertains to who is doing what (eg., work, home, school, pick-up, drop-off), as it seems Avi wants to know what each day will bring, and the next day, and the day after.

***

After we got home from school, I accidently dropped the tupperware containing the homemade hummus from Safta (a no-no for packed lunch, unfortunately, because a classmate has a severe sesame allergy so no tahine whatsoever) and it broke. I sighed and set about cleaning it up while reassuring Avi it was "no big deal."

"Goddammit," he said softly as he looked at me.

"I didn't say that," I countered, somewhat defensively. "I know I've said it before, but I'm really trying to change my behavior. It's not a nice thing to say and I don't want to hear you say it, either." Avi gave me his best teenage stare.

It's a new school year for Avi; there are lots of new friends to make and experiences to share. And I am going inward more with the practices that have fueled me over the past decade or so. I just hope I can stop swearing in front of my kid.