It feels like a big deal, Avi turning three years old. I have a framework in my social worker mind about 0-3 development--maybe it's partly why I have tried to post about his birthday 3 or 4 times before I've been able to sit down and actually do it. 3 years old is the last precipice of babyhood, one pinky toe lingering in infancy while most of the whole self presses onward. It's amazing to me what a strong hold that pinky toe can have, especially when there is a baby sister around. I try so hard to lovingly accomodate the lingering baby parts of my 3 year old boy. It's not easy, and mostly he's great fun, inquisitive, adventurous, imaginative, creative as hell, but sometimes he particular in the most bizarre ways that I want to tear my hair out, hear myself heaving big sighs and digging deeper into my compassionate self for my challenging toddler.
Avi had a great birthday.
His teachers and school friends love him dearly. There was chocolate cake, a birthday book, a specially decorated chair for my sweetie. I joined them for circle time and felt wildly jealous of his teachers, "You guys have the best job ever!" I gushed when I wasn't enthusiastically joining in with their songs and games. Avi's class is so sweet and we have been so happy with his first school experience; I know we'll find something just as good in Berkeley but it feels a little sad to know this will be his one and only year at Gan Noe.
After his class party, Avi said, "Mommy, I want to have lunch with you in a restaurant," and I gladly drove us to Toast on 24th Street for "burgers and fries" per the birthday boy's request. Oh, who am I kidding, I love those things too! But that day I got one of their Reuben sandwiches with sweet potato fries. Avi was wondering when his cheeseburger would arrive. It was during our special lunch that it occurred to me we had no toys with us, no diaper bag. Just the two of us, content in our own skins, taking in the scene, dashing out to feed the meter, enjoying a meal together.
We also had a sweet party in the park for Avi bear. Weeks ago, he named all the people he wanted in attendance--the family members (all by name) and a couple of friends. It was a gorgeous, 70 degree day at Walter Haas Park, which is right next door to the fire station where we had Avi's second birthday. So many memories here that we'll tuck away for safekeeping when we move to Berkeley in just a couple of weeks.
Avi enjoying a birthday milkshake and helping me measure spaces for appliances at the new house. Today he referred to our current abode as "the place that is getting too small for us."
There is a little boutique in Glen Park, Perch, that has children's toys and clothes in addition to interesting adult goodies--jewelry, books, lotions, knickknacks. Avi likes to peruse the merchandise but has never asked to take anything home in the many times we've been. On his birthday, we decided he could have "one more present" and he wanted to pick an animal from the shop. Behold the new piggy, a special object of much affection.
Making a boat out of a moving box and Avi in the park the day of his birthday picnic.
The fruits of our labor; I must admit I was disappointed in SK's recipe for chocolate cake; it was a little dry! The batter was tasty, though.
We can't help but marvel at how much Avi looks like me and Lilit like her Aba. I could hold this girl forever and never tire. Avi and I are connected in a particular way, but my connection with Lilit feels different, more universal. She has grounded me; while Avi's birth brought me back to my truest self. Sometimes I can't get over the enormity of birthing children.
I feel so complete with my family. Leeor, Avi, and Lilit are the most important people in my world. I love how we are evolving together.
There's an attachment theorist, Margaret Mahler, who talked about a big regression that happens for most kids at age three. I feel it right alongside Avi sometimes, this pull backward to a more primitive, preverbal time. But I also feel a real growth, inside and out. Leeor and I feel really solid as a team. Avi seems to be developing at a rapid pace, as does Lilit. Sometimes it feels like I can see the neurons firing in their brains.
Avi had a great birthday.
His teachers and school friends love him dearly. There was chocolate cake, a birthday book, a specially decorated chair for my sweetie. I joined them for circle time and felt wildly jealous of his teachers, "You guys have the best job ever!" I gushed when I wasn't enthusiastically joining in with their songs and games. Avi's class is so sweet and we have been so happy with his first school experience; I know we'll find something just as good in Berkeley but it feels a little sad to know this will be his one and only year at Gan Noe.
After his class party, Avi said, "Mommy, I want to have lunch with you in a restaurant," and I gladly drove us to Toast on 24th Street for "burgers and fries" per the birthday boy's request. Oh, who am I kidding, I love those things too! But that day I got one of their Reuben sandwiches with sweet potato fries. Avi was wondering when his cheeseburger would arrive. It was during our special lunch that it occurred to me we had no toys with us, no diaper bag. Just the two of us, content in our own skins, taking in the scene, dashing out to feed the meter, enjoying a meal together.
We also had a sweet party in the park for Avi bear. Weeks ago, he named all the people he wanted in attendance--the family members (all by name) and a couple of friends. It was a gorgeous, 70 degree day at Walter Haas Park, which is right next door to the fire station where we had Avi's second birthday. So many memories here that we'll tuck away for safekeeping when we move to Berkeley in just a couple of weeks.
Avi enjoying a birthday milkshake and helping me measure spaces for appliances at the new house. Today he referred to our current abode as "the place that is getting too small for us."
There is a little boutique in Glen Park, Perch, that has children's toys and clothes in addition to interesting adult goodies--jewelry, books, lotions, knickknacks. Avi likes to peruse the merchandise but has never asked to take anything home in the many times we've been. On his birthday, we decided he could have "one more present" and he wanted to pick an animal from the shop. Behold the new piggy, a special object of much affection.
Making a boat out of a moving box and Avi in the park the day of his birthday picnic.
The fruits of our labor; I must admit I was disappointed in SK's recipe for chocolate cake; it was a little dry! The batter was tasty, though.
We can't help but marvel at how much Avi looks like me and Lilit like her Aba. I could hold this girl forever and never tire. Avi and I are connected in a particular way, but my connection with Lilit feels different, more universal. She has grounded me; while Avi's birth brought me back to my truest self. Sometimes I can't get over the enormity of birthing children.
I feel so complete with my family. Leeor, Avi, and Lilit are the most important people in my world. I love how we are evolving together.
There's an attachment theorist, Margaret Mahler, who talked about a big regression that happens for most kids at age three. I feel it right alongside Avi sometimes, this pull backward to a more primitive, preverbal time. But I also feel a real growth, inside and out. Leeor and I feel really solid as a team. Avi seems to be developing at a rapid pace, as does Lilit. Sometimes it feels like I can see the neurons firing in their brains. ***
Happy birthday, my Avi bear. Next year we will have a big party for you at the Berkeley house. Next year everything will be different, but right now we here, enjoying our last dinner at Chenery Park's family night, and I loved how you assured me that it was okay for you to have dessert that night (though you'd already had a milkshake at lunch, cake at school, and a cookie from the bakery in the late afternoon) because it was your birthday. I love the boy you are and the person I see you becoming.
2 comments:
Unbelievable how the time has flown. Avi is three. And I'm afraid your daughter will be one before I even see her the first time! Congratulations on seeing the joy that is your family.
Yay Avi! It's good to hear about the regression. Els definitely went through it, but it's cool cuz I see her moving out of it. And now she seems so damn grown up.
Truly tremendous.
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